I am very aware that I have shared little information about our second pregnancy. I plead forgiveness, but if you have followed the rest of the blog since before Christmas, you’ll know that life for the Foxes has been absolutely insane!
Kev’s mum was admitted to hospital for emergency surgery on the 5th. On December 7th, 2019, we discovered I was pregnant with Fox Cub #2.
This wasn’t quite like when I tested with Squidge, because then I was just trying to hurry up my period. This time around, we knew there was a chance I was pregnant. I’d tested negative 3 days before my period was due to start because I’m impatient, but the niggle wouldn’t go away. Not wanting to spend a fortune on tests again, I sent Kev to the corner shop for some “cheapies”, promising that I’d stop going on when it came up negative.
Except… I was in fact 2 weeks pregnant
Kev was thrilled, bouncing around with a proud grin on his face. He’d had his suspicions too.
So we carried quietly on with our December, Christmas parties, hospital visits to Kev’s mum and more importantly, Squidge’s 3rd birthday on the 21st.
We told his parents news of their next grandchild that weekend, wanting to give them something to smile about amongst all the stress. I gave them another test (one in nice plastic casing, I must add, not this one!) in a gift box. My father in law opened it with a loud, proud “Oh!” and showed it to my mother-in-law, who bless her, was on so many pain meds, wasn’t sure what she was looking at until we explained to her. It was so lovely to see them both smiling.
At Christmas, we told my side of the family. I was sipping non-alcoholic ciders, waiting for someone to notice and ask. In the end, we let Squidge reveal the surprise “in Mummy’s tummy”. One of my sisters leapt happily into my lap, another laughed and said she hadn’t wanted to ask about why I wasn’t drinking in case it was because I’d been drinking too much! (Note: I’m a lightweight, not an alcoholic!) but it was very strange having to have a dry Christmas.
As an aside, non-alcoholic wine is vile, the sulphates gave me headaches worse than alcohol does! Avoid!
We were hoping for less drama as the new year rolled in, wanting to settle into the news of our expanding family. Sadly, it was not to be and on January 9th, Kev was admitted to hospital with gallstones and pancreatitis.
Those following the blog will know that Kev being in hospital for 3 weeks was the hardest, scariest time of my life, pregnancy aside. My SPD kicked in at 8 weeks with Squidge and I could barely walk. I was terrified as I reached this point in my second pregnancy that this was going to happen again whilst I was on my own at home.
Thankfully, it didn’t, but oh my God, I have never known tiredness like it. If I hadn’t had Squidge on hand to make sure I was taking my folic acid and vitamins, I’m not sure what would have become of me.
Coming back from one of our many hospital visits to Kev, we had to turn around when I had awful pains in the side of my tummy. I sat with my father in law in A&E for 12 hours whilst they investigated the pain as an ectopic pregnancy. I was terrified, especially not being able to have Kev by my side. It was made worse when I had to wait 2 days to have the scan, but Kev was able to come from his hospital bed to the scan with me and we finally met Fox Cub #2. I have never known relief like it.
February began to bring about a bit of normality. We celebrated Kev’s birthday, we had our 12 week scan and finally, we were able to announce the news to the world, although it had slowly trickled out because I had been desperate to share good news amongst all the news of Kev’s time in hospital and recovery.
Squidge has been so excited all along – look at this face! She will be the best big sister.
Tiredness was still abound, and the joys of heartburn and nausea joined in. The baby was quickly in charge of my taste buds and we became obsessed with cheese. But pretty much everything else I like became off limits.
I no longer like bacon. This is heartbreaking. My sense of smell is heightened to the point of nausea over many things that didn’t use to bother me.
But, thank God, the aches and pains in my hips did not materialise until about 18 weeks, when I began to feel a bit unsteady and my bum began to ache. It seems both my children have enjoyed exerted pressure as they grow, making it feel like they’re burrowing into my bum cheeks, although oddly, this time round, only one cheek at a time, which puts me seriously off balance! Nonetheless I felt liberated and so grateful to have made it this far in contrast to when I carried Squidge.
Of course, normality has not been able to stay with us, given COVID-19. I have been under isolation since the 9th March, when 12 weeks of shielding was suggested for pregnant women not in their third trimester. (Note: for most women, I think the advice was actually stringent social distancing, but allegedly, cerebral palsy puts me at increased risk too, so no chances being taken here!)
It has been odd, but there’s a comfort in it being odd for us all. It’s nice only having to worry about activities in the confines of home, rather than feeling guilty for not physically making the distances that some tasks demand. So in some ways, it is a blessing. (This positivity does not extend to being unable to make massage appointments. I had grand plans – and saving accounts – for all the pregnancy massages I wanted! I am genuinely devastated to have to go without, because I sincerely wanted to enjoy my pregnancy and pamper myself this time around!)
In other ways, it’s odd and sad. I attended my 20 week scan along, counting my baby’s fingers and toes. I so wish Kev & Squidge hadn’t had to miss it, because this baby will be who completes our little family.
It seems so strange not needing to worry about buying maternity clothes (turns out stretchy tops from Primark will do when I have nowhere to go!) but I do so wish I could have a glass of wine to go along with all these strange new stresses. This pregnancy appears to be progressing in a whole new kind of alone. I wonder if, come August, I’ll be presenting our new baby to the world with some of our loved ones barely even having had the time in all this new madness to register that I was pregnant. It makes me sad that the world has been able to take the shine off some good news that we as a family so much needed.
But more than anything, I am thrilled that we are all still healthy.
Two-thirds of the way there!